Purgatory #
Background #
This is a song I wrote when I was very sick and very sad.
Lyrics #
Everything I like about me's leaving
Everything that made me me is lost
Trapped between who I was and who I'm meant to be
A never-ending vacillation requiring much concentration
Keeping myself upright is a burden
If my flesh could leave my bones, it would
And as it has turned out, without the slightest doubt
My nerves are up to not a bit of good
I've been sewn together with spare parts and cellophane
I've worn it well so far, but I'm too tired to hide the pain
I suffer with suffer with such stamina, it's a shame to hide
So I'm here to tell you why I cannot sleep at night
I am a human being, and as a human being
I'm riddled with neuroses that leave me sick and sore
All of those neuroses, the plethora of don't be's
Are combined with some, osteoporosis of some sore
Or maybe it's my mother's mother's mother who's to blame
Maybe she's the one who started driving us insane
Maybe there's some kinda failsafe built into my blood
Maybe that's the reason why I never feel enough
Well, I'll never surrender. Well, never say never
There's always room for never when you dream of suicide
Not that I'm that desperate. I mean, yes, I'm that desperate
But it's not like I'm actively seeking a way to die
Oh, and can any of you hear my desperate desperate cries for help?
Is my charming self-deprecation working too well?
They say I should talk about it, but who really knows?
Saying it won't make it better, so on with the show!
If I don't get some kind of relief, then who's to say
Praying there's an answer that isn't too far away
Maybe I can find myself a path that feels like truth
Until then this purgatory will just have to do