Howl

Howl #

Background #

It’s a high pain day. My cobra is taking a nap next to me and all I can really do is keep myself from openly weeping in pain So, obviously, my very sad and painful thoughts started morphing into lyrics, as they often do.

This is what I just wrote.

Kate Nyx Patreon

Lyrics #


This feral thing inside of me
Beats at my ribs trying to free
Itself to live transparently
It's not afraid to let you see

But I'm afraid of what you'll think
When you know I am small and weak
That I am tortured raw and pink
That I am not of which you speak

The thing flaps wings against my bars
My bones rattle, my nerves charge
My heart breaks and breaks and breaks
I'm forced to relive past mistakes

Some words can never leave my mouth
All I can do is howl
I mustn't let the monster out
All I can do is howl

I'm licking wounds that never heal
Beat up enough, I'm finally real
No longer gleam and velveteen
I'm blood and bone and honest dreams

And I can feel them gasp for air
I see them dancing bright and bare
For the whole goddamn world to see
If I ever let them leave

It's too much to show you now
All I can do is howl
I have to take my final bow
All I can do is howl

Maybe this will reach your ears
And you'll see me, paralyzed by fear
Consumed by guilt at imperfection no one else will see
One day, I'll let it free

The needing is the hardest part
All I can do is howl
Soothing an ever breaking heart
All I can do is howl