Facebook Song #
Background #
It’s unknown if this is the correct name of this song. It was first performed live for the 2019-11-13 show.
Lyrics #
Welcome to Facebook
Here are the rules
Leave a comment and a like if you think I'm cool
And if you think I'm a dumb slut
Well, say that too
Cause the algorithm doesn't care what you do
If it's got people talking
Must be good
Engagement is key in our neck of the woods
Doesn't matter if there's slurs or threats or rape
If you're a dude, they don't care what you say
But better watch your language, ladies and queers
Cause if you say men are trash, then you're out of here
Also
No outside links
Don't talk in all caps
The algorithm doesn't like any of that
So say something awkward
Use two emojis
That lets Facebook know that you're one of my homies
If you hit share, make sure you add a caption
Encourage your friends to leave their reactions
As long as we're havin' these interactions
Facebook will know that you're part of the fraction
Of people who get to witness the action
Let everyone know that my page is happenin'
No, I wanna hear your keyboards clackin'
I wanna hear those send keys tappin'
Once that's done and the chat gets chattin'
You can drop it down and make that ass clap, son
Sorry, I mighta gotten carried away
But you mustn't forget these words I say
In the Facebook economy, the comment is king
And a like might help, but shares give this faerie her wings