S02E07 #
Lullaby Lounge: Season Twosday Finale
Aired: 2020-08-04 Posted: 2020-08-09
This episode truly celebrated season twosday in style. Tip goal was met and exceeded incredibly early, a heartfelt The Part Where I Talk (quoted below) was had, and there was even a dancebreak featuring Ophidian! It also featured the premiere of Bean Gotta Scream, and an early rendition of a Lullaby Lounge theme.
I have a lot of feelings right now. And, to be honest, I don’t really know what I’m gonna talk about tonight. Uh, so much has happened in the last 24 hours, and the last six months of, not just the world, but our lives specifically. And so many ups and downs have happened, and I’ve learned so many things about myself and about about others and about what I am capable of and about what others are capable of. And I think right now, what I wanna talk about is success. Because I believe myself to be experiencing some form of it. And as you can tell by the fact that there are tears in my eyes, that makes me uncomfortable.
What’s with that? Why does doing good make me sad? Um, I think, in part, it’s because I just didn’t know what my life was gonna look like when I was younger. The… I’ve been building things myself for so long, I’d assumed that one day someone would snap me up and tell me that what I did was good and I would be a part of something bigger than myself. And I’d never found a place that made sense for me to succeed in. And I guess it turns out I made one. And it’s hard to see that as success because I built it, and I don’t see it for what it is from the outside. Um. I’ve made more money this year on music than I have in the past several years combined. Um. I, um, I’ve been… I’ve done a lot of different things and I’ve failed at them in many different ways to get here. I’ve taken big steps that I wasn’t ready for, and I’ve faced consequences of going too hard, too fast, in many different ways. And this place isn’t that. I built it so it wouldn’t be. The reason there is a season finale, and I don’t just continue streaming music on into oblivion is because … throughout these fifteen years of promoting my music online, of promoting myself and my work and my personality and the things that I do online, of making makeup tutorials, and doing vlogs, and learning how to edit video, and learning all the things I’ve learned to come here, and doing all the different things and careers, and being in burlesque for so long, and starting a production company with my best friend… making strides in industries that would never be noticed.
I’m learning that I’m not going to get the external validation that I’m looking for. And it hurts right now. But I’ve found internal validation. In part, because of you, because of the Kate-riarchy, because of my lodestars… of you willing to dedicate your time to me, I eventually came around to the idea that you wouldn’t be showing up every week if there wasn’t something worth watching. I’m very grateful for that and for you, for how much time and money and effort you’ve spent here. Things are changing in my world and in the world around us. And I hope you expect every season of the Lullaby Lounge to look slightly different, because I will be at a different time in my life. But I have found my identity here, and I like it. I like it here. And I’m learning that you like it here too.
Setlist #
- What Would Peggy Carter Do? - Kate Nyx
- Teenage Dirtbag - Wheatus
- Annabelle - Kate Nyx
- Arise, Fair Sun - Kate Nyx
- Rainbow Lemonade and Gin - Kate Nyx
- Lean on Me - Bill Withers
- Girl All the Bad Guys Want - Bowling for Soup
- Everything Stays - Rebecca Sugar (Adventure Time)
- Lullaby Lounge Theme Demo - Kate Nyx
- Kiss From a Rose - Seal